Cleave Unto Your Spouse

In Genesis 2:24 we read: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” What does that mean to you? Even though, the scripture just mentions a man should cleave unto his wife I believe it goes both ways that a woman should cleave unto her husband. What does it mean “to cleave”? Elder Marvin J. Ashton, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, clarified the meaning of this scripture as it relates to newly married couples. He states: “Certainly a now-married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total supports, but in leaving father, mother; and other family members, it was never intended that they now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. The are still family, a great source of strength…Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement.” When we get married we need to remain faithful and supportive to our spouses but at the same time don’t forget our parents and the relationship we have with them.

How do we cleave unto our spouse yet have a healthy relationship with your parents and your in-laws? It is important as a newly married couple to create your own identity as husband and wife. We should spend time with other family members but also create our own traditions together as a couple. My husband and I moved to North Dakota for 5 years away from both our families after only being married for 3 years and honestly it was the best decision we ever made. During those 5 years our marriage and relationship grew so much because we only had each other to rely on, we didn’t have parents next door to run to when things were tough. We did miss a lot of family things during that time, but I would not change how much we grew as a partnership for anything. It really was the best thing we could have ever done for our marriage. It was a great way for us to create our own family traditions. Although our families were far away we still were in contact with them and saw them often which was a great blessing for us. We have since moved back to be close to family, but I believe because of those 5 years we don’t always run to our extended family when tough things arise.

So, what are you doing in your marriage to create your own tradition with your spouse? I encourage you to ask yourself that question and if you are not creating your own traditions figure out a way you can.