Be Unselfish

-


How do I humble myself and use repentance to make my marriage stronger? This is the question I find asking myself as I read Chapter 4 “Humility and Repentance” in Goddard’s book. He states; “The first step is the humility to know that our perceptions are very limited. We rarely know our partner's heart or God's purposes. Then we learn to call on God. Every day. Every hour. We cry out with all great repenters: "O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on my fallen and troubled soul. Fill me with Thee. Soften my heart. Give me healing peace." There is power in submission. As Paul astutely observed, "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians. 12:10, emphasis added). Very often our self-sufficiency gets in God's way. In the spirit of humility, we listen to our partner and we listen to God. We replace despair with an enlarged openness to Christ-like goodness.” I found his words to be very powerful and really made me think about myself and how I need to ask Heavenly Father to have mercy for me and all the mistakes I make as a wife.
Often, I find myself getting irritated with my husband even over small things that I really shouldn’t get irritated about. As I was reading this week I realized that with those irritations I need to look at myself, and repent. Goddard’s states; “In fact, any time we feel irritated with our spouses, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility. In contrast, when we have the "mind of Christ," we see our spouses in a new way. We, like Jesus, look upon the injured, erring, and downtrodden-the whole human race-with compassion. The Prophet Joseph Smith challenged us: "The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing [spouses]; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders and cast their sins behind our backs .... if you would have God have mercy on you, have mercy on [your spouse’s]." We can see our spouses with compassion rather than with irritation.” I agree that we need to see our spouses with compassion and not with irritation. When we do this it really can strengthen our marriages. We need to learn to be unselfish and not always focus on what we think our needs are in marriage. Something that has helped me be less selfish in my marriage is to ask myself how that decision will affect my husband. I think about my husband’s wants and needs and not just my own. Next time you feel irritated with your spouse I encourage to take a look at yourself and see what you need to change about you and not what you think you should try and change about your spouse.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Overcoming Gridlock

-
Image
All couples have differences or disagreements in marriage. When partners can’t find a way to deal with some of these differences or disagreement the couple may become gridlocked. What gridlocks do you have in your marriage? Consider this question as we discuss how to overcome gridlock in marriage. Gottman states that, “all gridlocked disagreements share four characteristics.” These include: 1.         You’ve had the same argument again and again with no resolution. 2.         Neither of you can address the issue with humor, empathy, or affection. 3.         The issue us becoming increasingly polarizing as time goes on. 4.         Compromise seems impossible because it would mean selling out-giving up something important and core to your beliefs, values, or sense of self. So how do we overcome gridlock in marriage? In his book Gottman gives us four steps to help overcome marital issue th...
Read more

Who's the Boss?

-
Image
Who is the boss in your family? You, your spouse, or your children? Richard B. Miller in his article Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families made some great points about power in your marriage and family relationships. He states; “the issues of power, control, and hierarchy are important in families. Issues regarding power are at the root of many family problems.” Some of his great points include: 1.       Parents are the leaders in the family. 2.       Parents must be united in their leadership. 3.       The parent-child hierarchy dissolves when children become adults. 4.       The marital relationship should be a partnership. a.        Husbands and wives are equal. b.       Husbands and wives have different responsibilities, but they function as equals. c.        A h...
Read more

Cleave Unto Your Spouse

-
Image
In Genesis 2:24 we read: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” What does that mean to you? Even though, the scripture just mentions a man should cleave unto his wife I believe it goes both ways that a woman should cleave unto her husband. What does it mean “to cleave”? Elder Marvin J. Ashton, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, clarified the meaning of this scripture as it relates to newly married couples. He states: “Certainly a now-married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total supports, but in leaving father, mother; and other family members, it was never intended that they now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. The are still family, a great source of strength…Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of domination, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, conce...
Read more